Dear Aiko, I’m going to be turning the big 5 0 in a few weeks and I’ve been single for awhile now. I’m nervous to date, but I am longing for a life long companion and someone to go out and have fun with. I’m just not having any luck. I’m shy too which doesn’t help. ~ Fearless Fifty
Dear Fearless Fifty, There is a biological need to want to be with someone and share a life. Sometimes in these situations there is tendency to put too much emphasis on the idea of having a partner and to catastrophize it. Start with being okay with being alone. When you’re okay with being alone and going out and trying new things and meeting new people as a result of that, then you will be ready to start a relationship. Being older shouldn’t be an issue, especially these days. The more important questions you should ask yourself are if you are healthy, if you feel good, if you're comfortable in your own skin and if you like your own company. Reach out to various social clubs and organizations and be willing to step outside your comfort zone. It’s easy to distract yourself from the matters at hand by saying, “I’m not twenty anymore,” but the dating rules have changed and it’s great to be different. Sincerely, Aiko
I’m just graduating from high school and as I’m going out into the world I am feeling so much pressure from the outside to look a certain way and behave a certain way. I feel that society’s view of beauty is being pushed on me. I’m not over weight and all of my friends tell me I am very pretty, yet I have so much anxiety about being perfect. Please help.
~In vogue girl
Lovely In vogue girl,
There is a huge market push toward narcissism and materialism. It sounds like your values might not be aligned with your peer group, but that doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself. This is your opportunity to be a leader simply by being who you are and vocalizing what your believe in fearlessly. You have to accept and be okay with the fact that not everyone will agree with you all the time. What is important for you and your health is that you define what you see as beautiful and be or create that.
All the Best, Aiko
“I was having a really difficult time because my father had just passed and I was having kind of a emotional break down. I wanted to talk about it with some of the people I thought were my friends at the new yoga studio I had been going to since I moved away from home and I felt like I was just getting funny looks. I thought, it’s okay, guys, to talk about heavy, depressing stuff! I mean, it’s not contagious. You're not gonna catch it!”
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Aiko is a character at Peace Planet Journal and the advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author and publisher are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.